The Importance of Teaching How to Deal with Rejection in Relationships as Part of Sex Education in Secondary Schools in England

September 28, 2025

Background and Context

In secondary schools across England, Relationship, Sex and Education (RSHE) plays a crucial role in helping young people understand consent, communication, and emotional wellbeing. Yet, one essential topic often overlooked is how to deal with rejection — both being rejected and rejecting others. Rejection is an intrinsic part of human relationships. It’s something everyone experiences, whether in friendships, dating, or more intimate relationships. Learning how to cope with the feelings involved and practising the skills to navigate these emotions are fundamental to healthy, respectful relationships and to long-term emotional wellbeing.

Why Rejection Belongs in Sex and Relationship Education

At a time when young people are forming their first romantic and sexual identities, rejection can feel devastating or confusing. Without guidance, many internalise it as a sign of personal inadequacy or lash out in frustration — behaviours that can lead to emotional harm or even abusive dynamics. Teaching young people how to process rejection normalises it as a universal part of life. It helps them understand that being turned down, or having to turn someone down, doesn’t make them less worthy or cruel — it simply reflects the dynamic nature of human relationships. By framing rejection as something everyone faces, schools can reduce shame and prevent patterns of entitlement, resentment, or self-blame from taking root. Talking about why people reject and why people are rejected can normalise this fact of life. It’s not about assigning blame or shame— it’s about understanding that relationships depend on mutual fit, timing, and personal readiness.

Skills-Based Education for Processing Rejection

Dealing with rejection isn’t just an emotional experience — it’s a life skill. Like any other skill, it can be learned, practised, and refined. Skills-based education provides practical tools that prepare students to handle difficult emotions and interactions constructively. Key skills include:

• Emotional regulation: recognising and managing feelings such as sadness, embarrassment, or frustration.

• Empathy and perspective-taking: understanding that everyone has their own preferences, boundaries, and emotions.

• Respectful communication: expressing interest, disappointment, or boundaries clearly and kindly.

• Self-reflection: viewing rejection as an opportunity to learn about one’s needs, values, and compatibility with others.

  
  

What Emotional Regulation Looks Like for Young People

For young people, emotional regulation doesn’t mean suppressing emotions or pretending to be fine — it means learning how to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively when faced with disappointment or rejection. In a school context, this might look like:

• Taking a moment to pause and breathe before replying to a message that hurts.

• Talking to a trusted adult or friend instead of bottling up feelings.

• Recognising when frustration is turning into anger and using grounding strategies (like stepping away, journaling, or listening to music, speaking to a friend).

• Naming the emotion — “I feel embarrassed” or “I feel let down” — which helps the brain process and reduce the intensity of those feelings.

• Learning that feeling upset or rejected doesn’t mean they’ve failed; it means they’re human.

When students are taught these tools early, they develop stronger coping mechanisms that support not only romantic resilience but also mental health, academic performance, and social wellbeing.

Practising Healthy Responses to Rejection

Sex education should include space for role-play, reflection, and discussion around both sides of rejection, including the provision of basic language to communicate clearly and respond to rejection without feeling ashamed or losing their confidence. Students can also be encouraged to:

• Avoid personalising rejection, recognising that it doesn’t define their worth.

• Use the experience as a learning opportunity — a way to understand themselves better and clarify what they value in relationships.

Rather than focusing on the unknowable odds of success, we can teach young people to accept that rejection is normal — and that both giving and receiving rejection respectfully are essential to relational maturity.

The Potential Impact of Teaching These Skills

Integrating lessons about rejection into sex and relationship education can have profound, long-term benefits. It fosters emotional literacy, resilience, and empathy — qualities that underpin respectful relationships and prevent harm. When young people are taught that rejection is a normal, manageable part of life, they are less likely to respond with hostility, guilt, or self-doubt. Instead, they learn to communicate openly, maintain self-respect, and navigate intimacy with understanding and care. Ultimately, teaching young people how to deal with rejection is teaching them how to respect themselves and others — a foundation for healthier relationships and stronger emotional wellbeing throughout life.